desolate places

For the time being taking the regular scheduling to NYC, USA

Still jetlagged I sit in my office, eat my lunch and stare out the window. I tower over lower Manhattan. I can see into your bedroom... Honestly, I can.
I dont appreciate this city. I dont appreciate the daily commute that takes me right past the Empire State Building - twice.

This town breaks my heart in every possible way ten times over. And over and over. Do you know that every night I go to bed with your photo and every morning I tell it that I love you? I hardly ever tell you of the pain. I just spent the two most amazing weeks with you.
Instead I feel hungry all the time...

And then there's the snow, and the cold and my apartment that looks over many other things but other than that is not really that nice...

So is this really it? What am I doing it for? Can I please go home now.